Things that go make you aarrgh

#chatswithpeople #chatswithparents #56

9.30 pm
Dad yawns: I must go to bed.
Me: …seriously? It’s 9.30. Are you 80 or Tamilian?
Dad: when I was younger I was able to stay up all day and all night.
Me: this is obviously way way way before I was born, because you’ve fallen asleep before me even when I was 4. I know because I’d wake you up to complain that you didn’t finish my bedtime story.

Dad: you need to let that go.
Me: never. When have you stayed awake all night?
Dad: when I was an NCC cadet. They put me on 24-hour security detail while at camp.

Me:…..but why? Where was this?
Dad: in a village.
Me: was it a dangerous village? I’m confused.
Dad: no no, it’s part of your training. And the campsite was next to a burial ground.

Me (Miss Super Coward since 1982): gosh. Weren’t you scared?
Dad: it wasn’t a Hindu burial ground.
Me: er. What difference does that make?
Dad: there were no fires.
Me: fire is reassuring. A burial ground has potential zombies. (I’m also Miss Super Zombie Fearer since 1982.)

Dad: no, no. But when I got home and told my grandmother, she made me take a bath.
Me: the world’s water shortage can be traced to Brahmins taking baths for every bloody thing. But I’m super impressed that you weren’t scared. I’d have run away.

Dad:…well.
Me: you didn’t know about zombies then, did you?
Dad: no. also, we used to read these comics.
Me:…oh?
Dad: about Mohini.
Me: the avatar of Shiva?

Dad:…no.
Me (sensing blood) (encouragingly): go on.
Dad: you know? like Mohini.
Me: yes?
Dad: the pichasini? The seduce-y types?

Me: This explains so much about men. Even in a burial ground, you’re not content to let people in peace. Even from a BURIAL GROUND, a hot chick needs to come seduce you.
Dad:……I’ll go to bed now.
Me: I think that would be best.

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Wordplay

Nice shoes.

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She saw him before he saw her. Sauntered up to the bar stool next to him and slid on. “I’d like a Long Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall. Please.” she said pleasantly. He smiled. “I’d recommend a Screaming Orgasm. It doesn’t last as long but packs a punch.” The corner of her lips quirked. “Sounds like you got a Bad Habit there.” He sipped his drink. “Yep. I started Between the Sheets and then ended up here. Where do you come from?” She tilted her head. “Manhattan. Via a Boston Sidecar.” He whistled. “Bend over Shirley! That’s a Mind Eraser of a journey.” She laughed. “I know! All that way on a Black Bison and a Blue Motorcycle!” He looked at her. “Nightmare. How about a Corpse Reviver, Red Hot Mama?” She smiled. “I’d rather have a Slippery Bald Beaver.” “How Old Fashioned,” he sighed. “Tsk. You’re acting as if I’m a Sour Witch.” She pouted. He almost laughed out loud. “Well, you have got me Bewitched.” “Really? Getting a Wet Spot there are we?” she teased. “Depends,” he replied. “Do you have a Blue Negligee?” She smiled again. “No, but I do have a Slippery Nipple.” He swallowed. “Well, My Fair Lady, shall we?” She slid off the stool. “Absolut-ly.Harvey Wallbanger, get ready for my Silk Panties.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream welcomed them, the Sea Breeze gently kissing them as they walked off into the Tequila Sunset. #flirting #bar #cocktails #love #meetcute #meetdrunk #drunkinlove

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Wabbit season