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It’s just a little…

Date Fright – Part 4

Some stories have an unexpected epilogue.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Interior: party at friend’s house.

Friend: hello, hello, hello! Come in, come in, come in!
Me: oho. In triplicate eh?
Friend: so don’t be mad, but…Stoner is here.

Me: (lunge for door, unfortunately friend is standing in the way)
Me: $%#$%@!!!!
Friend: the only advantage to being pregnant. People don’t knock you down.
Me: please, please, please let me go. Please.

Friend: no, no, there’s someone else I want you to meet. So come on. Just avoid Stoner.
From behind us both.
Stoner: hello!
Friend and Me: $%#$%@!!!!

Stoner: hi.
Me:…hi. How are you?
Stoner: good, good, I’m Stoner.
Me: um….yes. Hi.

Stoner:…………..
Me:…………….
Stoner:…so what’s your name?
Friend:………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me:…we’ve…met. (gestures to idiot Friend) She set us up?

Stoner: who? You and me? Impossible. I’d never forget such a pretty face.
Me (stoically): well, mine IS purple right now so…
Friend (elbowing me): Stoner, you guys went out last month. You know?

Stoner leans debonairly on the wall: really? And what time in the morning did you leave?
Me: (bitch face. EXTREME bitch face)
Friend: oh, I…is someone calling me?
Me: move and you’re dead.

Stoner: can I get you a drink?
Me: no. are you stoned right now?
Stoner:…………..
Me: well?
Stoner: as a matter of fact no. I gave it up recently.
Friend and Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Stoner: I’m a stand-up guy I swear. Let me tell you this funny story about how I fell off a bridge.
Me: dear God.
Stoner: yeah it’s a good one. You know, it’s so weird, but a lot of women have fallen in love with me after hearing this story. Hyuk hey can I tell you my favourite pick up line?

Friend and Me: no.
Stoner: “How do you stop your date droning on and on? Use your mouth baby hurr hurr!”
Friend and Me:…………………………..

Friend: I’m so sorry but she’s gotta go. She has this thing.
Me: I love you.
Stoner: already? But I haven’t told you the story yet.
Friend: shut it, Jekyll.
Me: so much love.

Sniff

The lift pinged.
The doors slid open.
He stood there, coffee cup in hand.
She sauntered in, her bag in one hand and coat in the other.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”

“New perfume?” He was smiling.
“Maybe.” She was smiling too.
“It’s a little faint,” he said, still looking at the floor numbers.
“Funny. Every time I breathe, I get it,” she replied and took a deep, deep, meaningful breath.

Very slowly, he turned his head back. Stood stock still for a couple of seconds. And then cleared his throat.
“Ah. So its…”
“Yes,” she said, quite simply. Smiling.
“Well. You always did have a flair for…finding the right…niche.” He seemed to be struggling.
She bit her lip to stop from smiling even more broadly. “Really? We’re going to trade pseudo entendres?”
He grinned. “I’m trying not to be indiscreet.”
She grinned too. “Really? Why?”

His grin looked like it would split his face in half. “Good point. By the way, I’d really like to…take in the fragrance…you know?”
“Oh really? Here.” She popped the bottle out of her bag and presented it to him.

He smirked. Took it. And sprayed it on his chest. Her jaw dropped.
“There. We’re even now,” he said.
She started laughing. And the lift doors opened.