Uber-pooling. A very young woman (22? 19? I can’t tell) is in the cab. I’m riding shotgun next to wizened old driver who charmingly pulls seat back for me.
We’re all sitting in silence, of course.
Girl’s phone rings.
Girl: hey hiii omg I’m so bored ya
Girl: you know what that bitch did? She does this everytime. We went there to saat Bangla and she says she only has 100 bucks and I had to pay for her….what do you mean I should have come back? I don’t understand.
Driverji and I avoid looking at each other.
Girl: but listen ya don’t tell my boyfriend that I talk to you he’s all like why you talking to my friends for 3 hours a day
Driverji is throwing darting looks at me. I stare ahead.
Girl: but…like…that was so pointless. Like I at least drink long island iced teas. She’s like drunk with breezers. Like please what’s the point of going out?
Girl: yeah I know blue frog is shutting but it’s for old people ya like creepy. And so expensive. I’d rather go to saat Bangla.
Driverji is smiling faintly. He approves of this fiscal policy.
Girl: oho ya don’t tell your dad. Lie and say you’re studying.
Driverji is not happy. He’s shaking his head at the folly of youth.
Girl continues to talk. In toto, we’ve listened to her for 43 minutes and can stalk her on Saturday if we like.
She gets off.
Driverji smiles in camaraderie: all young people. Pffft. Now I’ll drop you madam.
THE FUCK? When did I become driverji’s age???