“You’ve been cheating on me, you bastard!”
She hurled the vase he’d gifted her on her last birthday at him. It bounced off his shoulder and hit the floor, shattering.
She was outraged. “And this stupid vase is not unbreakable. You lied about that too!”
She threw all the books on the sideboard at him.
He ducked; unfortunately forward, his face getting slammed by each book on its way down.
“I swear I didn’t cheat,” he screamed, hands covering his face.
“Really? Really? Oh. Of course I believe you. I mean, I’ll just dismiss all the lipstick on your collar, the blonde hairs on your shirt, the black thong panties in your briefcase…you bastard!” Displaying surprising strength for her size, she picked up a bowl of fruit and threw it at him.
“Jesus. It’s not another woman. Will you calm the fuck down?”
She started screeching. “Is it another man? You son of a bitch! How long have you been lying to me?”
Finally, he started yelling. “It’s not another anything. I’m taking drama classes, you idiot! This was rehearsal for a play. Jesus, God!”