#chatsondates #chatswithpeople #chatswithboys #chatswithfriends #35 #part3
Girl: Stoner Story-Repeater wants to meet again. Somehow, he thinks the date went well. I feel like I should message back and–
Friend: are you stupid?
Girl: so I shouldn’t message?
Friend: you say nothing. Or you say ‘I’ll slap you.’ Or you just ignore messages and block him.
Girl: you want me to GHOST him? No. Nooooo.
Friend: what’s ghost?
Girl: when you just disappear on someone and they don’t know what’s happening or why things fell apart or anything and they’re just waiting and waiting and they’re dying and it’s horrible and you feel like ripping your heart out and…
Friend: all right, ALL RIGHT…yes, I want you to ghost him.
Girl: no. I CAN’T. I hate when that happens to me. I relive everything and wonder what I did or said or breathed wrong and basically die every day. If I do that to someone else, it’s just inviting bad karma.
Friend: you’re inviting a bad slap. Don’t be stupid.
Girl: How is this stupid? I can be an adult and meet him for ‘a very short coffee’ to say sorry but I’m not interested.
Friend: Is your middle name Stupid?
Girl: fine, FINE. I can mail him and say ‘listen we just won’t work because yada yada’.
Friend: do your parents know you’re stupid?
Girl: maybe ‘it’s not you, it’s me’?
Friend: are you seriously stupid?
Girl: Or ‘I’m not ready for a relationship right now.’
Friend: you are stupid.
Girl: can I send him a funny meme saying I’m pyscho and he’s so lucky this isn’t going forward?
Friend: Are. You. Stupid. I. Will. Slap. You.
Girl: maybe I should send him flowers with a ‘sorry, but all the best’ card.
Friend: Fill in the blanks. Dash dash stupid?
Girl: there’s got to be SOME way of doing this.
Friend gives death stare and makes slapping motions.
Girl: Okay. I’m just gonna be truthful. (typing) Hi Stoner. It was very nice meeting you but. But. But…
Friend: but you’re stupid. And I’ll slap you if you message again.
Girl: It was very nice meeting you this once. All the best for your future. Thanks, me.
Friend: how is this better than silence? This is cruel. This is rude.
Girl: at least he KNOWS? He’s not stuck wondering and dying every day.
Friend: he won’t be. You’re the only fool who dies. No one else is dying.
Girl: shit. He’s sending smiley faces.
Friend: I want to slap myself now.