Friend and I discussing our love lives. Or lack thereof.
Friend:…or you could try Tinder again.
Me: only if you brainwashed me and took my phone and rendered me blind.
Friend: the brainwashing might take too much time.
Me: you are a scary scary person.
Friend: we could hire a stripper.
Me: hain?? To do what?
Friend: what do you think he’s going to do, idiot?
Me (squealing): I’ve seen Magic Mike and the sequel. I’m ok thank you.
Friend: this is an excellent idea.
Me: no it really is not.
Friend: I have a guy.
Me (despite myself): you have a stripper on call??
Friend: no no I have a guy who has a guy who has strippers on call.
Me: Lord have mercy. Please no.
Friend (glumly): there’s no point. With your luck, the stripper will show up, do a namaste and say ‘didi, maaf karo. Naukri ka pehla din hai.’