I now pronounce you aargh.

#chatswithparents #chatswithpeople #9
Me: so how was the wedding?
Mum: the usual. Your first, second, third and fourth cousins were there, that family who’s at every function yet no one knows how we’re related was there and your grandmother was there. They all asked about you.

Me: as in, “is she married yet?”
Mum: yes. Pretty much.

Me: If I become a zombie and go around eating brains, then will their first question still be if I’m married?
Mum: you could just get married.

Me: pfft. Then I’d have a whole other family eating my brains. No, I think I’ll become a zombie and eat brains.
Dad: (peers over spectacles) why can’t you be a vegetarian zombie?

Me: then how can I fulfill my long-term dream of cracking open (maternal grandmother) Ammamma’s head to confirm there are no brains inside?
Mum: I can tell you that now. There are no brains inside.

Dad: see? Now you can be a vegetarian zombie.
Me: okay. I’ll put it on my to-do list.

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