Where no man has…

#chatswithparents #chatswithfriends #chatswithpeople #4
2009
Me: omg the new star trek movie is out. Wanna go?
Friend: sure.
Intermission.
Me: OMG. So cool! A complete reboot. This is so beyond.
Friend (looking totally pissed): wtf is this? Who is that pointy eared bugger? What is going on?
Me: SHRIEK. You….you don’t know ANYTHING about Star Trek?
Friend: NO. I thought it was like star wars.
Me:………I don’t think we should be friends anymore.

2013
Benedict Cumberbatch: I’m not Khan.
JJ Abrams: he’s not Khan.
Media: but he is Khan right?
BC and JJA and assorted PR: no. no. No.

Dad: want to go see new Star Trek movie?
Me: ok but…and I want to be very clear on this, you will ensure mum is not sitting next to me during the movie.
Dad: ok

During movie
Of course, Mum is sitting next to me.
B. Cumberbatch: My name is Khan.
Me: oh, balls.
Dad (leaning over): what? But they kept saying he wasn’t?
Mum: is he Indian?

Exit theatre
Dad: this wasn’t as good as the first one no?
Me: no. No it wasn’t. Or even the older movies.
Mum: but that Pock fellow was good.
Dad: hehehehe
Me: Spock.
Mum: what did I say then?

2016
Friend: the new star trek movie is releasing next month.
Me: I’m afraid. Very afraid.

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