Mum: Oooh. (Cough) Look, Tom Hanks.
Me: (Sigh) That’s not Tom Hanks.
Mum: Oh. Tom Selleck?
Me: No, that’s Tom Cruise.
Mum: Oh. He’s the one who plays that dumb guy?
Me: what? What??
Mum: You know, that dumb guy. That guy who’s not right in the head.
Me (outraged because its so un-PC): NO MOM. THAT’S Tom Hanks. This is Tom Cruise.
Mum: Huh. Who knew? I always get confused between them.
Me: (even more puzzled) Between Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise? HOW?
Mum: They’re all called Tom. That’s why. It’s not like they have a name like Garrison.
Me: (mystified) Who’s Garrison?
Mum: You know, that guy. Who’s in that action movie. Garrison.
Me: (just shaking head)
Mum: Oh ho. Garrison. Garrison. GARRISON.
Me: Okay, shouting made it all clearer.
Mum: That fellow with the hat. In those movies your father watches again and again. Whatsit? Indiana Jones! Garrison FORD!
Me: (grinning like a silly fool) Oh. That Garrison.
Mum: Yeah. Sniff. You keep telling me I’m old. You don’t remember anyone’s names either.